Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Victorian Christmas Tablescape


 
The Christmas season has finally arrived.  Our office display takes us back to a Victorian time period, where one strolls along cobble stone streets with street lamps lite by candle light.  A walk along our grand avenue brings you past The Victoria Palace where a magnificent Christmas Ball is in progress.  After the ball, everyone is sure to gather at the neighboring Restaurant to enjoy a late night delicacy.  If you continue down the avenue, pass the majestic Cathedral, you can hear the carolers singing Silent Night.  Further along you pass by the Bakery, where you can catch not only a whiff of Gingerbread cookies but also one of hot chocolate which is being sold by a street vender just outside the shop.  Last but not least, a stroller would come across the village Toy Shoppe. Where today the shop’s owner is displaying his skills as a puppeteer for the enjoyment of his patrons.

Down the hill from the grand avenue there are children skating on the local frozen pond.  A young lady is being taxied, via horse and sleigh, past the town’s center and its giant, colorfully, lite Christmas tree.  Further down the way, we pass the town’s band stand/ gazebo, a location which the carolers will surely stop at as they work their way around the town.  In the park next door, you can see a large group of children building a full-sized snow man; while the local shoe cobbler helps mend one of the young lads’ shoes.  All in all, a bustling scene of Christmas activity; which goes to show you something’s change very little over the decades.   

George and I also wish to encourage all to contemplate the true “reason for the season”.  We encourage you to take time to share the gifts received from God with others; especially those whom maybe struggling either economically, emotionally or physically.  Make time to share the gift of your time with loved ones and friends. And finally take time to share the joy of this season with those in our local community. We wish a Merry Christmas to all of our family, friends, Clientele and of course, to those presently serving on active duty in all of our Military Services. 
(Below are pictures from our office Victorian Christmas tablescape.)







                                       With warm appreciation and gratitude,

                                            we wish you a Merry Christmas! 

Monday, November 10, 2014

Thanksgiving Tablescape


 
Wow, we are already heading fast into the Thanksgiving season.  The leaves are growing more intense with color and eventually falling off the trees.  Families gather up the colorful leaves and enjoy the tradition of jumping into leaf piles.  At the top of the hill, you can take a sneak peek into the old farm house and see Thanksgiving dinner, hot on the table with all the trimmings.  Down the hill, outside the barn, you can see a large Tom Turkey spreading his wings; thankful he escaped being that evening’s meal.  As you wind down the hill from the top of Harvest Apple Orchard, past the kids picking out last minute pumpkins, and along the road side fruit and vegetable stands you will see a family on their way to Grandma’s house.  Mom is carrying her country fair, award winning, turkey stuffing, while her son attempts to fend off “Spot”, the family dog, from biting into the hot apple pie.

 We want to encourage everyone to take a moment this Thanksgiving to reflect upon all of the blessings we are afforded by living in this wonderful country of ours.  God bless this great nation.

(Below are pictures from our office Thanksgiving tablescape.)

 
 
 
 

Have a Blessed Thanksgiving!


 

Friday, October 31, 2014

Part Two of Social Media and the Parent/Child Relationship


 
As mentioned in Part One of our series on Social Media and the Parent/Child Relationship, it is suggested that parents set up age appropriate ground rules for use of social media and enforce the consequences for any rule violations.  For guidelines on such ground rules we are once again looking to our social media hostess, Joanna Jullien of Banana Moments.  Ms. Jullien produces the Sacramento Cyber Safety Examiner column for Examiner.com. (For Ms. Jullien’s background information please see http://bananamoments.com/about-banana-moments/ )

Ms. Jullien points out that it is important for the parents to recognize they are the primary teacher for their child (ren), as such, they have the authority and responsibility to guide them.  Furthermore, she states, “mobile connectivity brings the world in closer and exposes youth to adult issues at earlier ages”. Both the parent and the child need to recognize the cyber world is a very PUBLIC space, thus instruction needs to take place between the parent and child on what should remain PRIVATE in this public space.  Additionally, the child should not have access to everything which is available on the internet; some of it can actually be very dangerous for the child.  Access to social media should be presented to the child as a privilege not a right, therefore, the need for rules and guidelines within a family (and/or between biological parents and the child (ren) if there is a separation/divorce in place). 

If you’re like the rest of us, you find yourself darting from one activity to another in a sort of whirlwind, so we thought you might appreciate the video link, with text summary, of Ms. Jullien’s Cyber Rites of Passage: How to set age-appropriate boundaries for children using smart devices, as a helpful quick reference (hint it is less than 7 minutes long).  
http://bananamoments.com/bmblog/cyber-rites-of-passage-for-children-of-all-ages/
 
However, if you have the time and are seeking more details on the subject then check out Ms. Jullien’s eBook at the following link:http://bananamoments.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/2014_October_Cyber-Rites-of-Passage.pdf

We would like to thank Ms. Jullien and her Banana Moments Foundation for generously providing our readers with these resources.  Please stay tune for further posts regarding our Social Media and the Parent/Child Relationship mini-series.

Friday, October 17, 2014

"Halloween Fall Festival" Tabletop

 
Halloween has shown up in our office reception area; beginning with apple picking at the Harvest Apple Orchard and pumpkin patch.  Then you move down the lane to the Halloween Fall Festival with hay rides, pumpkin carving, and a carnival with a Spinning Pumpkins ride and glowing Ferris Wheel. Additionally we appear to be in luck, 'cause we are here just in time for the annual Neighborhood Halloween Parade with scary mummies, skeletons, witches, ghosts and even Dracula. If you look closely you'll catch a sneak peek of kids performing their favorite Halloween activities such as jumping into piles of autumn leaves and Trick-o-Treating.  Nothing too frightening here, just lots of fall fun and excitement under a harvest moon.  Feel free to stop by and check out the fun.
(Below are pictures from our office Halloween tablescape entitled Halloween Fall Festival.)


 


Monday, October 6, 2014

Attended My Sister's House 7th Annual English High Tea

Karen Martinez and Nilda Valmores, Executive Director of My Sister's House

My wife, Karen, had the joy of attending the 7th Annual English High Tea, put on by My Sister’s House of Sacramento, this past Saturday.  Karen enjoyed viewing all the beautiful and creative tables set up for the high tea.  Karen and I would like to remind everyone that My Sister’s House does important work by helping and supporting women and children in crisis; with an emphasis on those dealing with Domestic Violence and Human Trafficking. You can help support this important mission by stopping by the My Sister's CafĂ©, located at 455 Capitol Mall, #110 in Sacramento, for either breakfast or lunch.  



"Tea by the Seaside"

Pictured below is the winning table # 21 entitled, “Tea by the Seaside” complete with sandcastles, swimming mermaids, starfish and even live swimming gold fish; good job ladies.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Part One of Social Media and the Parent/Child Relationship




 
 
Here at the Law Offices of George A. Martinez we are starting a series regarding Social Media and the Parent/Child relationship. What follows is Part One of the series.
 
On 09/06/14, I had a special opportunity to attend a parenting class regarding Social Media at St. Joseph Marello Parish in Granite Bay, California.  The hostesses of the event were Joanna Jullien, Foundation Founder of Banana Moments and Ms. Maylynn Whatley. It was a very informative morning and I wanted to share some of its highlights. 

My main take away from the morning was 1) the parent and the child(ren) are not going to be able to avoid social media interaction; 2) social media offers both great positives and grave negatives; 3) the key element to the survival of both the parent and the child(ren) is to develop a strong trusting, loving relationship between the two of them; and 4) the parents should set up age appropriate ground rules and enforce the consequences for any rule violations.

According to Ms. Jullien, the parent’s need to “consider internet access and smart phones as a rite of passage- not a right”.  Developing and following age appropriate ground rules will allow the child to learn how to use the cyber tools properly and to also allow for the maturing of the child, over time, in the usage of said tools.

Out in the cyber world, there are lots of voices clamoring for the attention of the child, and the parents need to make sure that it is their fundamental values which the child hears and responds to, not the values of the cyber world. 

Remember, children are swimming in a virtual world and while in this world they are seeking authenticity; or as Ms. Jullien puts it, “genuine authority”. They, the child(ren), really want the parent to inform them and instructed them regarding the truth; but they want it done in a loving manner.  While they don’t want to be lectured, they do want guidance as to why something is good or not good for them.

The children need to be good citizens in the virtual realm, just as they need to be in the physical realm. They need to understand there is a cross over between the physical and virtual realm.  What they do in the virtual realm will affect them in their physical realm, and vice versa. For example, a thoughtless picture or rude comment sent out by the child will go out into the cyber world and like hot, butter melting on to popcorn the picture, or comment, will suddenly “pop up”.   The child may then be hit with the harsh reality of that picture, or comment, which they are now powerless to take back or delete. They will now discover the consequence of the picture or comment.  They will find out that this can happened in both the cyber and physical world, however, in the cyber world the “melting butter” effect can prove to have deeper and longer lasting effects. The parent may or may not be able to prevent this “pop up” from happening, however, they need to be prepared to respond to the child with love, gentleness and guidance.  The parent will need to work with the child regarding how to make amends for the action(s) of the child and prevent future missteps.  

For the parents whom have older children, or those with teenagers, whom have already been out in the cyber world without their (the parents) guidance, they calmed their fears that it was not too late.  They instructed them to just get started with the conversation.  First find out where the child is in the process and then build from there.  The key here is to development a strong relationship between the child and parent.  Of course, if there has been little communication between the two of them regarding social media and core family values, then more time and effort will be needed; just know that it will be well worth the effort. They also pointed out that if you don’t know much about how to use social media then turn to your own child as a source of information.  It will not only become your starting point for learning about social media, but it will also become a way of developing a deeper child/parent relationship. For at some point, the parent will start learning more about the child’s likes, dislikes, interests, hopes and dreams which can only strengthen the relationship between the two of you.  

They also instructed the parents to be a digital role model for your child(ren); meaning don’t do things you would not want your child to do.  For just as you might be watching out for how your child interacts on the internet, so too is it possible that the child is watching how you interact. Given the fact that many of our readers our separated parents this might be a good spot to remind or readers of the sacred old adage “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”, especially in the case of separated parents.  If you are speaking negatively about your “ex” on social media, stop and think about how that might affect your child(ren).  What at the chances the child might see those comments via social media, and more importantly, what if your “ex” is doing the same thing against you?  Basically, airing your family difficulties in social media can have not only negative effects on you but also on your children.  If you feel the need to let off steam about the opposing party it would be much better to talk about it with a close friend (in person) or to a counselor, rather than broadcasting it across cyber space so that friends, co-workers and family (especially the children) hear all the details. Additionally, I would strongly encourage you to have a discussion with the other parent about the issue of social media and your child(ren); if the communications between the two of you are good enough. This discussion will be just as important as discussions regarding how and when the kids should be picked up from school and when the next basketball practice is. If you cannot reach an agreement with the Opposing Party about what type of apps are appropriate for your child(ren) or upon the “rules on the house” regarding technology and devices within the separate households, then all you can do is make sure your child(ren) is instructed as to what your values are and continue to work on developing the best communication you can with your child(ren).  You want to develop a relationship with them where they feel comfortable in coming to you with problems, questions or concerns.    

I recognize this is a very general discussion regarding the subject matter of social media and parenting, however, that is why I am breaking down this topic into a series of posts. Our next post will get more into the setting up of age appropriate ground rules for the family.

In the meantime, for other reference information on this subject and other topics, here is the contact information for Joanna Jullien of Banana Moments Foundation:

           Web: http://www.bananamoments.com
            Twitter@CyberParenting
           Facebook: Banana Moments
           Linked in: Joanna Jullien

Friday, September 5, 2014

Engage in Life-long Learning





George and I have a confession.  We both have the same visceral response when we see the “Back to School” signs go up at our local stores; and that is one of dread and apprehension.  Of course, those feelings come from our many years of schooling, from childhood on into young adulthood; with its long hours of study and school work.  However, now with the pressure of tests behind us, we can now look at education as part of our maturing process and something we wish to continue on in to the rest of our lives. 

While the theme of our office display is an encouragement for all of us to continue to “Engage in life-long learning”, with its display of a little red school house, apples and fall colors; it got us to thinking about the children we deal with in our practice.  While some may be excited to get new school clothes, backpacks and crayons they also may be experiencing apprehension as a result of their home situation.  With a recent marital split or divorce between their parents, the child may be not only be having to attend a new classroom but quite possibly a whole new school.  Both a divorce and return to school can be major stressors for children, as such, we encourage our parents to read up on the effects a separation and/or divorce may have upon the children.  Take time to understand the challenges the children may be facing at this time and feel free to seek the assistance of our office staff in order to obtain resources which may help both you and your children cope with your changing circumstances.  

(Below are pictures from our office tablescape for back to school entitled, “Engage in life-long learning.”)
 
 

Friday, August 15, 2014

Book Review on “Divorced. Catholic. Now What?” by Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese



The book cover contains a quote by Dr. Linda Klaitz, a psychologist, author and public speaker, whom describes how the
 “divorced Catholics are a population woefully under-served, misunderstood, and often avoided in our parishes.”

Dr. Klaitz goes on to point out how this book,
“begins with a Catholic basis for coping with toxic, painful emotions following divorce.  The structure is spiritually and psychologically sound. Using Scripture, it directs these suffering men and women from anger and sadness to courage, compassion, forgiveness and hope.”
The authors of Divorced. Catholic. Now What?, Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese, help walk the readers through key challenges they will face during the divorce process; such as, anger (towards both the opposing party and possibly even God), resentment, frustration, anxiety, forgiveness and the need for gratitude and hope.  The book also addresses such pertinent subjects, such as, what the Church actually says about divorce, annulments, sex and dating as a divorced Catholic. 

Within each chapter the authors offer up case profiles and glimpses as to how others handled their divorce struggles and what changes they made in order to move themselves past the hurt and pain. For example, in the chapter entitled, “Dealing with your ex-spouse”, they address the important issue of gaining control over the situation and recognizing what you can and cannot control and making the proper choices over what you can control. Knowing as much about yourself, how you react to particular situations, understanding your personal temperament and being familiar with the same information about your ex-spouse, can make a huge difference in bringing control into the situation. Recognizing what you can and cannot control, 
can become an art: the more you practice it, the better you become and the more naturally it integrates into your personality and temperament.”
 “From there, you can teach yourself better ways to deal with the difficult situations that arise because of your divorce.”   

The chapters are well structured and offer scripture references, and “Now What?” steps to follow after reading each chapter, plus words of meditation, a resolution and lists of further suggested readings.

While the subject matter is centered upon the subject of divorce, there our suggestions and helpful tips within this book which can actually be used by anyone facing a challenging situation of any kind not just a divorce.  At some point in time, no matter what your station is in life, you will probably face issues of anger, frustration, and confrontations of some kind.  The authors of “Divorced. Catholic. Now What?” offer helpful, theological advice on how to handle those challenging situations whether or not you are dealing with an actual divorce.

This book is available on Amazon. Additionally, I am referring only this particular book which was Copyrighted in 2007 by Lisa Duffy and Vince Frese and published by Journey of Hope Productions.  Furthermore, Lisa Duffy has a website located at divorcedcatholic.com which might be of further assistance for some of our patrons. This reviewer has no official association with Ms. Duffy nor with Journey of Hope Productions.  I am only offering this book review as an assistance to the patrons of our website and encouraging them to further investigation the subject matter for their own growth and education.    

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Say “Aloha” - summer is a good time to take a real or imagined break in the action


With summer in full swing one cannot help but envision being on a tropical island somewhere.  Feel yourself drenched in bright, warm, sunlight; feel the hot sand beneath your feet; feel the cool breeze as it sweeps over the ocean; hear the waves as they crash and recede in front of you; taste the tall, cool, drink in your hand; and watch the kids in the distance as they meticulously dig and mold their sand castles.  Make sure you take time this summer to take in all the wonderful sensations of a trip to the beach.  If you can’t travel to an actual beach, try visiting a local watering hole such as Folsom Lake or Lake Tahoe.  If that’s not possible, take a quiet afternoon to stretch out on the couch with a favorite paperback, turn on a c.d. playing waves or Hawaiian music, turn on an electric fan for effect and don’t forget the “tall, cool one” in hand.  Aloha
(Below are pictures from our office tablescape for summer. Feel free to stop by and say "Aloha". )

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Quick tips regarding dress and attitude for a court appearance.

NO!

YES!

                 
Have you been instructed to show up for a court appearance? Here are some basic tips to follow: in consideration of both the importance of the event and its’ potential outcome upon your case we suggest you basically dress conservatively and/or wear what they call business casual.  If you are tempted to dress the same way you would for performing yard work or going to the mall don’t!  However, if all you own are blue jeans, then at least make sure they are clean, without wholes, and the shirt is without obvious stains.  Neither do you want to “dress to the nines” (i.e. wearing expensive clothes and jewelry) especially if you are going to be asking for support of any kind. Additionally, if you want people to pay attention to what you are saying, do not have your clothes appear to scream “look at me”.  Also be cautious as to how much skin is showing via a low cut neck line or a bare midriff. 
What’s even more important than your dress is your attitude.  Our country gives you the right and privilege to be present in Court proceedings, and you should acknowledge this as a privilege by being on time, paying attention while in front of the Judge and being respectful.  We suggest you are not only respectful to all Court staff but even to the Opposing Party. This could be your one shot to have your side of the story heard, don’t blow it by allowing your dress or attitude over take your message. Lastly, do not talk over the other side or interrupt, the Judge can only hear from one party at a time, he will appreciate your help in maintaining an orderly courtroom.

Monday, June 23, 2014

If the Parties have agreed to a change in the visitation agreement, get in writing.


 
What happens if you and the Opposing Party want to make a change to your current visitation agreement, be it a temporary or permanent one?  If you both agree to the change, then we strongly recommend the change be documented in writing.  Make the new wording as specific as possible. Furthermore, we recommend that both parents sign and date the agreement, and each walk away with a duplicate original. This process, although cumbersome, will ultimately save you time, money and emotional grief down the road. 

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Visitation Schedule and Journal, why are they important?


 

Whether the split between the Parties is brand new or has been ongoing, there must be a Visitation Schedule.  A Visitation Schedule helps both the Parties and the child(ren).  It tells them the date, time and location of where visitations are to take place; without such a schedule, it's a sure fire guarantee that conflicts will take place.  Whether you have officially filed for a Divorce (or Legal Separation) or not, preparing a Visitation Schedule is a must.  However, if the Parties are in a position where communication is either poor or non-existent then immediate court involvement will be necessary just to get a Visitation Schedule up and going. Barring that extreme circumstance, you can and should establish a Visitation Schedule as soon as possible.
          A Visitation Schedule should take into consideration all Parties’ schedules (work, travel time, etc.) including the children’s weekly activities (school, sports, after school activities, doctor appointments, medication protocols, etc.).  Don’t forget to add in school and public holidays.  You may even want to help the child(ren) prepare their own schedules/calendars in order to help them keep track as to where and when they are to be engaged in family activities. There are some electronic calendars available on the internet, either for free or at a cost, to help set up electronic calendars (here are two examples: www.sharekids.com or www.parentingtime.net ).

If you are the one with primary physical custody, you may initially be tempted to withhold visitations from the Opposing Party; if for no other reason than you don’t know what to expect due to the separation. However, I would caution you not to do so, remember, the child(ren) are also feeling very uncertain about their current circumstances, so now is not the time to cut off contact; even though communication may be a challenge for you right now.  Please keep in mind my above statement is made barring any evidence of physical or verbal abuse being presented by the Opposing Party. Additionally, it is true that the amount of visitation time spent with the children will have an impact upon the support issues, however, barring any evidence of abuse, support issues should take a back seat to the “best interest” of the child(ren)’s need for contact with both Parents. Most Judges and therapists view frequent involvement between both Parties and their child(ren) as being in the “best interest” of the child(ren). 

 
Ok, so let’s say I have sold you on the need for a Visitation Schedule, but now I am going to propose that you keep a Visitation Journal, which will involve even more work; why, you may ask?  Well, besides keeping track of the dates and times of the actual visitation, you may soon find that the schedule does not always go according to plan.  The purpose of the journal is to provide an unofficial record of the visitations, of what actually took place not just what was on the schedule.  This can be especially helpful when there are problems with the visitations.  Your journal entries regarding the visitations can be used to back up what has or has not been taking place regarding the visitation schedule.  What problems might we be talking about you may ask?  Some examples would be the following: Does the opposing party frequently show up late for visitations or not all? What reasons are given for the “no show” or late arrival? What was the Children’s response to a “no show”?  Do you find out that your child was not given scheduled medication during the visitation?  Does the Opposing Parent instruct you to pick up the children after school but when you show up and they are nowhere to be found?  Do exchange times turn into verbal tug-a-wars and police end up being called? (If police or sheriff were involved remember to provide the basic information of "who-what-where-when" and the names of people who were involved, especially the names of any Officers and/or agencies.)  This is where we would strongly suggest that you not only maintain a Visitation Journal, but that it be kept in an electronic form so that you might provide this information to your attorney or so it can be printed up and used as reference when you are going to attend mediation, counseling or court. Lastly, keep in mind both the Visitation Schedule and the Journal are only as good as the information contained within it and how diligently it is maintained.

Friday, June 6, 2014

A new tradition for “We the People” on this upcoming 4th of July


        “We the People” take time out of from our busy schedules to: attend community parades, fire up the bar-b-que, meet with family and friends, play games, and watch fireworks.  However, let us, “We the People” not lose sight of the main reason for our 4th of July celebration which is our Freedom.  Our founding fathers struggled to develop this Freedom through our Declaration of Independence.  Men and Women have shed blood and treasure for this Freedom.  While in some communities it maybe a tradition to read the Declaration of Independence on the 4th of July, it would also make a great individual family tradition.  Each family performing an oral reading of our Declaration of Independence, as both a reminder of our Freedom and a way of deepening our understanding of where “We the People” get our Freedom from; will you join us in this new tradition?  
(Below are pictures of our office 4th of July tablescape.)
 
 

 

Book Review of An Unexpected Journey: The Road to Power and Wisdom in Divorced Co-Parenting by Alisa Jaffe Holleron


 
To be honest with you the first thing which caught my attention regarding this book was that it was small and thin; only 67 pages in length.  I too can feel overwhelmed by my own “To Do List”, so the small, thin book gave me the impression that I could get through it quickly.  Overall, I found the book readable and to the point.  Additionally, I found the layout of the book helpful and easy to follow along.  
           Ms. Holleron starts by pointing out, a Divorce which “involves children stirs up our deepest feelings about security, family and self-worth. When our sense of security, our relationship with our children or our self-worth is threatened in some way, we become emotionally reactive.  When we are in an emotionally reactive state of mind, when we are angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious or resentful – or all of the above – we are unable to be rational and logical.  She then points out how the word “co-parenting…implies that the two people in the relationship should be able to parent together” which many times just is not the case.  Furthermore, Ms. Holleron points out while you may or may not have the co-operation of the other parent, you can always focus of your own emotional reactivity and thus develop your own power and wisdom to improve your situation and that of your children. “Power is more about being in control of ourselves than being in control of others.” 

Through her book, Ms. Holleron provides real life examples as and for guidance.  Her book can also be used as a journal posing questions of the reader and encouraging them to contemplate answers to her probing questions.  From a family law perspective, I found Chapter 3, “Is What I Believe Really True”, the most insightful.  Ms. Holleron goes through eight (8) common errors, or erroneous ideas, held by parents in difficult co-parenting situations which can directly affect the children. Errors such as “talking negatively about the other parent is OK because kids need to know the truth” or how the bad mood exhibited by the children after their return from visitation, must be because they are unhappy at the other home or due to the ex-parents lack of parenting ability.  If one takes to heart only this one chapter, and follows its guidance, then I believe you will feel more empowered regarding your own situation and you maybe even experience an overall lower legal bill due to less courtroom battles and drama.  
           Additionally, Ms. Holleron walks the reader through facing their own fears, discovering what they can and cannot control, handling grief, cultivating compassion and gratitude, and watching out how patterns and styles of behavior may cause a dynamic regarding negative emotions which will rise up from their own “default” mode. Once being acknowledged as their “default” mode, then it can be properly be addressed and worked through.

It is my hope that this book review provides enough of a “taste” of Ms. Holleron’s book that one will be encouraged to actually check her book out.  The book is available on Amazon.  I do need to point out that this reviewer has only reviewed the book as entitled above and no other writings or classes by the author, as such, this information is being offered only as an assistance to the reader.  Additionally, I am referring only to this particular book which was Copyrighted in 2012 by Alisa Jaffe Holleron and published by Live Oak Publishing.  Lastly, I note that Ms. Holleron is a Clinical Social Worker/Therapist working at Live Oak Center for Psychotherapy and Education in El Dorado Hills, California.  According to Ms. Holleron’s website she does offer both an eight week class and/or a weekend format, regarding her co-parenting instruction; however, I have not been involved in, nor have I attended any of her classes, thus, I am only offering this book review as an assistance to our patrons of our website and encouraging them to further investigation the subject matter for their own growth and education.       

Welcome to our inaugural post for The Law Offices of George A. Martinez

 

I am a California family law attorney whom has been serving our local Placer County community for over 24 years now; having moved from Southern California after 10 years of practice.  Why start up a blog now one might ask?  I have worked with many different types of people (both male and female), different age groups, nationalities, and economic levels.  However, regardless of a person’s individual stats (sex, age, income) when people come to our office they are hurting; many times emotionally and sometimes even physically.  My staff and I have always sought to help move the parties from the status of a relationship to the status of separate households in a manner that seeks to minimize the emotional and financial damage to both parties and any children which might be present.  We see our blog as an opportunity to offer insights and information regarding family law, practical tips on how to navigate the legal system and even to provide help regarding communications between the parties and their children during this time of transition.
         Our culture sometimes tries to down play the negative effects of divorce and paternity actions with cultural platitudes like “don’t worry you’ll get over it”; “it happens to the best of us”, “better to have loved and lost …”, and “there are plenty more fish in the sea…” and so on, however, we want to encourage you to use this time of transition (whether the divorce/split was your idea or not) as an opportunity to reflect upon what caused the break down in the relationship, whether personal changes of habits or attitudes need to be made, and to search out what you can do to be a happier and more satisfied individual down the road.  We seek to help you in this endeavor by providing you with quality, helpful information and encourage and the following areas:

·         General legal information about the family law process;

·         Information regarding the issues such as property, support, custody, retirement;

·         Suggestions on how to handle the communication problems which can be present during a divorce;

·         Co-parenting challenges; and

·         Book reviews regarding associated subject matter.

Additionally, my office and staff members will provide insights into the challenges and difficulties which we see from our side of the family law battle lines.  We will discuss how you can avoid some of these difficulties and/or overcome them and provide some hints on how to save on your attorney fees.
           Lastly, because my Wife and I have been married throughout our entire time of practicing family law, we may also offer our own insights and edicts which we have followed in order to help sustain our own long, loving marital relationship.  An example of one of our basic edicts states, “whenever any two people join together in a relationship there are going to be difficulties to overcome and this will be experienced throughout the course of the relationship”.  This is not something to be sad about, on the contrary, my wife and I have learned it is through overcoming these challenges where one gains a deepening of love in the marital relationship; yes, we know it sounds like a contradiction.

Eventually, we hope to open up the blog to content which is requested by our readers, whomever they might be, so we look forward to sharing information and topics with you in the near future.