To
be honest with you the first thing which caught my attention regarding this
book was that it was small and thin; only 67 pages in length. I too can feel overwhelmed by my own “To Do
List”, so the small, thin book gave me the impression that I could get through it
quickly. Overall, I found the book
readable and to the point. Additionally,
I found the layout of the book helpful and easy to follow along.
Ms.
Holleron starts by pointing out, a Divorce which “involves children stirs up our deepest feelings about security, family
and self-worth. When our sense of security, our relationship with our children
or our self-worth is threatened in some way, we become emotionally
reactive. When we are in an emotionally
reactive state of mind, when we are angry, frustrated, fearful, anxious or
resentful – or all of the above – we are unable to be rational and logical.” She then points out how the word “co-parenting…implies that the two people in
the relationship should be able to parent together” which many times just is
not the case. Furthermore, Ms. Holleron
points out while you may or may not have the co-operation of the other parent,
you can always focus of your own emotional reactivity and thus develop your own
power and wisdom to improve your situation and that of your children. “Power
is more about being in control of ourselves than being in control of others.”
Through
her book, Ms. Holleron provides real life examples as and for guidance. Her book can also be used as a journal posing
questions of the reader and encouraging them to contemplate answers to her probing
questions. From a family law perspective,
I found Chapter 3, “Is What I Believe
Really True”, the most insightful.
Ms. Holleron goes through eight (8) common errors, or erroneous ideas,
held by parents in difficult co-parenting situations which can directly affect
the children. Errors such as “talking
negatively about the other parent is OK because kids need to know the truth”
or how the bad mood exhibited by the children after their return from
visitation, must be because they are unhappy at the other home or due to the ex-parents
lack of parenting ability. If one takes
to heart only this one chapter, and follows its guidance, then I believe you
will feel more empowered regarding your own situation and you maybe even
experience an overall lower legal bill due to less courtroom battles and drama.
Additionally,
Ms. Holleron walks the reader through facing their own fears, discovering what
they can and cannot control, handling grief, cultivating compassion and
gratitude, and watching out how patterns and styles of behavior may cause a
dynamic regarding negative emotions which will rise up from their own “default”
mode. Once being acknowledged as their “default” mode, then it can be properly be
addressed and worked through.
It
is my hope that this book review provides enough of a “taste” of Ms. Holleron’s
book that one will be encouraged to actually check her book out. The book is available on Amazon. I do need to point out that this reviewer has
only reviewed the book as entitled above and no other writings or classes by
the author, as such, this information is being offered only as an assistance to
the reader. Additionally, I am referring
only to this particular book which was Copyrighted in 2012 by Alisa Jaffe
Holleron and published by Live Oak Publishing.
Lastly, I note that Ms. Holleron is a Clinical Social Worker/Therapist
working at Live Oak Center for Psychotherapy and Education in El Dorado Hills,
California. According to Ms. Holleron’s
website she does offer both an eight week class and/or a weekend format, regarding
her co-parenting instruction; however, I have not been involved in, nor have I attended
any of her classes, thus, I am only offering this book review as an assistance to
our patrons of our website and encouraging them to further investigation the
subject matter for their own growth and education.
No comments:
Post a Comment